www.drinky.org.uk - Ali G Interview with Tom Parker-Bowles

Ali G interview with Tom Parker-Bowles

Son of Camilla Parker-Bowles

This is a fake interview written by Steven Marshall-Law

Ali: Well here me now Booyakasha. Nuff respect and good vibes to all the massive dem. Today I is ere wid da original royal rude bwoy Tom Parker-Bowles.

Tom: Hello

Ali: Easy nah, Now Tom I is hearing that you is always mash up and dat innit.

Tom: Well Ali, in the past I was somewhat of a naughty boy on the party circuit and unfortunately the press published pickies of me in a somewhat sorry state. It was a very sad time in my young life. We all make mistakes to various degrees as we go through life. One learns by his or hers mistakes and moves on…

Ali: Aiii, nuff respec, cos I did see them fotoes in de paper and you look just like me mate Errol W from the West Wickham massive. He is always mash up, do you know him. Cos me uncle Jamal did say that he saw you and some of the Langley village crew on the green smoking skunk last week….is it true. Cos the Langley Village crew and the West Wickham massive are tight and you can always tell it them cos they have their name on their jackets and dat. It looks well wicked and we was gonna have it as well but we couldn’t nick the jackets

Tom: Well that is all behind me now, I’m…..

Ali: Laying low until your old dear marries Charlie? and I is not talking about the powder Aiii. It must be hard having a bifta in if your step dad had got such a big nose innit, I bet he can smell it from far away innit.

Tom: Errr no I actually meant….

Ali: Don’t worries cos I is feeling what you is saying, I told me nan da sameting. I smoke no more skunk until you is dead.

Tom: Err sorry Ali you’ve lost me.

Ali: Does your mum puff? I bet her and Charlie have a wicked bong innit made out of gold and dat with platinum pipes and hevian water in the bottom, that must be wicked wot?

Tom: NO Ali my mother does not take drugs, she is totally against it. I love her and she supported me in my time of weakness..

Ali: Den you mus be well upset with everyone calling her a minger innit, Cos I remember when me Mate Dave did implicate that me Nan was a minger, I was well vex. If he did say that me sister was a minger den wouldn’t have been so bad cos it’s true but not me Nan. So is you going to do sumfing about it?

Tom: Sorry but what is a minger?

Ali: Your mum, you know the one who has been shagging Charlie for nuff years, I bet he is a right player innit.

Tom: I refuse to comment on the relationship between my mother and….

Ali: Have they not told you about it…..or did they tell you but you was too mash up at the time and I know what it like. Your sitting there puffin on a fat biffta and someone says sumfing and your like yeah whatever and you don’t really care because your just finking bout chicken and dat innit.

Tom: Sorry I am still intrigued as to what a minger is?

Ali: Seen well hemagine dat you is in dis club right and dat you is looking across the dance floor and the drum and bass is kickin in and the whole palace is like wicked and dat and you start to look at all of the girls wid the fit bodies and that, and your feelin like you is really needing to bone one. Then you see this one dat is just…….well….a.minging rough, munter, mampy…back of a bus ugly…Dat is a minger.

Tom: Are you saying that my mother is ugly!!!!!!

Ali: No I is not saying dat cos I would happily bone your mum

Tom: You’d happily do what?

Ali: I is justing saying dat you should get your massive and go smoke the people that is dissin your mum and calling her a slag and dat.

Tom: Look this is outrageous, I don’t have to sit here and be insulted like this…

Ali: Now Tom you is getting all menstral and that..if you is needing some crack then I will hook you wid me mate Ricky C who knows this bloke on Egham high Street that has a cousin in Jamaica that knows someone in Langley that has a mate in Brixton who lives next door to the step father of a dealers friend…do you want Ricky’s number?

Tom: Look I finding this all rather bizarre…

Ali: Is you trippin?

Tom: No I’m finding this interview very strange as it has no direction or purpose…

Ali: Now listen here you little batty bwoy jus cos your mum is a right minger, it don’t give you the right to diss my techniques. Now I is a very tolerated person so I going to let you off but next time I is gonna be well vex. Now have you shagged Tara Palmer-Tomkinson or is you a batty boy?

Tom: I think I’m going to end the interview there Ali, this whole thing has been a shambles and a direct insult to my family and I. Further more……

Ali: Do you want to smoke some skunk or would you prefer Ricky’s number. Ok in all seriousness I is really wanting to know what it is like to be in the Windsor massive?

Tom: The Windsor massive?

Ali: Is you not Tom the tommy tanker from Bracknell who is the son of ex stripper Corilla who is going out wid DJ Charlie from Virgina Waters?

Tom: No I am not!!!

Ali: Den who the fuck is you?

Tom: Walks out in disgust

Ali: Well today we have learnt that we should always talk to our children and it don’t matter how many you has got. Even the ones you told the CSA you knew nuffin about and tell them that it is wrong to make prats of themselves in front of cameras. Now if your mum is constantly being called a minger……then you is stupid and you is well deserving a good beatdown.

Thanks to Steven for sending it.

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