Disgusting world records
MOST
SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach
in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST
PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the
armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST
CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation,
completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
ZIT
POPPING
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1
inch.
WORST
DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely
drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their
wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very
recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent
aphrodisiac.
MOST
OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains
tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French
mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a
tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a
Cunt Pump'.
GREATEST
DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of
seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height(12ft
4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity,
with 42.7mph.
LONGEST
TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who
produced a staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which
was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from
134 washrooms in his state.
MOST
PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an
officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
This may not be a world record, but my friend Dan's dad has a witness that can testify that he urinated for 3 minutes and 9 seconds without any kind of external manipulation to aid him.