Ali G interview with Liz Hurley
This is a fake interview written by Steven Marshall-Law
Ali: I is ere wid none
udder than the women who starred in 57 passengers in a plane wid
a black man wid a gun and International man of stupidness Austin
Powerless, Liz Hurley. Good afternoon.
Liz: Afternoon.
Ali: Now Liz you is a big time porn star is you
no?
Liz: No I am not.
Ali: But is not you da one that did suck off
Hugh Grant in the back of the car.
Liz: No it was not.
Ali: So you is denying it then.
Liz: Denying what.
Ali: Getting your gums around Hugh's plums.
Liz: Well I can't really deny it because he is
actually my boyfriend.
Ali: So let me get this right you suck him off
because you didn't want to let off the punani but you was bored
of the house so you did it in the car?
Liz: No it wasn't me it was a prostitute.
Ali: And you was watching yes?
Liz: No I found out about it in the press.
Ali: Did you pay for the prostitute as a present
for him because you'd been to the dentist and the painters was
in?
Liz: NO! Hugh had his reasons for doing what he
did, he said sorry and he is now behaving himself.
Ali: But is it true that he has been married 4
times and died once all in 2 and a half hours?
Liz: No that was the film that made him famous,
it was called 4 weddings and a funeral.
Ali: Now I's have never met him personally but
no disrespect true he's your boyfriend and all that plus he pays
for it which must be cool for you especially when the pennies are
low - but I heard he is minging.
Liz: What's minging?
Ali: You know - not saying much, ugly as a women
sumo wid a beard.
Liz: No No No Hugh is very charming.
Ali: He can't be that charming.
Liz: Why.
Ali: Well I know I is not that charming but I've
never had to pay for punani except for the time I had to take me
Julie to Kentucky because she can't do it on a empty stomach.
Liz: What is Punani, is it some type of food.
Ali: Fi reel.
Liz: Well.
Ali: You can describe it like that but you would
have to tell people not to chew it cos dat could be painful and
if I was hungry and you offered me your punani I would be a lucky
man.
Liz: Is it an exotic fruit.
Ali: Not really although the exotic ones can be
better, anyway getting back to you. You was famous once no?
Liz: Well I would like to still be considered
famous I hope.
Ali: Yeah but you was famous for that dress yes!
Liz: Which one - There's been quite a few.
Ali: The one where you was accepting the music
award, the one wid the union jack all over it.
Liz: I don't own a union jack dress.
Ali: C'mon Liz the whole world saw you drop the
melons on telly.
Liz: You have me confused with someone else.
Ali: You is not in the spice girls?
Liz: NO!
Ali: Why not.
Liz: I'm just not.
Ali: But didn't they kick out Geri so you could
step in.
Liz: No they did not and anyway I cannot sing.
Ali: Don't matter at least it don't seem that
way.
Liz: I am not in the spice girls, although I do
like their music.
Ali: Anyway I muss say thank you to the one like Liz for
her time and let you people know that it is OK for you to pay for
your boyfriend to be sucked off in the back of de car and you can
get famous for wearing dresses that don't fit and that the spice
girls can't sing. This is Ali G bringing you the flavour straight
from Liz Hurley's punani. Nuff respect.
Thanks to Steven for getting in touch.