Ali G interview with Ken Livingston
In the run up to the City of London Mayoral elections
This is a fake interview written by Steven Marshall-Law
Ali: Now you is all aware about the current race that is taking
place in London. I is hearing dat da winner is getting to run tings across
the whole of the London. So that is why I is here wid the main man in the race, Ken
Livingstone.
Ken: (smiles)
Ali: Now Ken what I would like to know is how come it is taking you weeks to run this race and it don't even finish yet, and you is
having da time to appear on me show?
Ken: I think you've got your wires crossed Ali, I'm running for the Mayor of London.
Ali: And what is it that you is running for him? skunk? sess? a bit of (sniff)
Ken: Sorry I don't understand and more to the point I really don't think that you understand.
Ali: Fi reel, I is understanding that you can't really be tellin people on national telly dat you is a courier for da mayor innit?
Ken: No, I'm racing to be the Mayor of London
Ali: So how many people is in the race?
Ken: Well my main competition comes from Frank Dobson.
Ali: Seen, so it is more than one person who wants to off the mayor then, Alright I is feelin
what you saying but check dis. What would you do if you did get to the mayor and Frank Dabson had got their
first and offed him before you?
Ken: Well if you mean that the public voted in favour of Frank then I would gracefully take a bow and accept it with diginity.
Ali: So you wouldn't go round to his yard and bash him about in front of his wife and kids.
Ken: No I would not
Ali: If you want I can intro - duce you to me mate Dave and for a couple of squid he can sort him out for you.
Ken: (shakes his head)
Ali: Now I is hearing through the ghetto vine that you was a bit of a badboy in your early days and dat they did call you RED KEN! What's that
about?
Ken: Well when I was the head of the GLC
Ali: What is that? is it some kinda massive or was you in a posse?
Ken: No it was the Greater London Council and I was called Red Ken Because
Ali: You is lovin your bitches when the painter is in?
Ken: (Long Pause) of my left wing views and my standing up to the goverment.
Ali: But didn't the goverment round up the last of the GLC and BUKA
Ken: It felt like it
Ali: So you did live to fight another day
Ken: Yes you could say that
Ali: Now my Julie is tellin me dat you did have a ting with Janet Street Porter?
Ken: Sorry???
Ali: You know, a little tickle and a bit of bump and grind
Ken: You've lost me
Ali: Seen, just let me light my spliff and you sniff your way to me, No I'm only
joking but if I did have one you would smoke it innit
Ken: I don't smoke
Ali: Seen is dat so you don't get high of your own supply or is it you is just keepin it undercover
Ken: No I think it's a disgusting habit
Ali: Yeah I'm feelin you but you don't have fi hide it anymore, just smoke a spliff of skunk chill out and I'll get Dave round so we can plan the
removal of Frank Dabson and the Mayor so dat you can run tings
Ken: I don't need you to do that for me as I
Ali: So you is got your own people?
Ken: believe that I have the right solutions to the capitals probelms and the public are
intelligent enough to elect who they see fit to be the Mayor. Because I can make a change I am confident that the
population of London will back me and help London achieve it's goal.
Ali: And what is that?
Ken: To be the capital city of the World
Ali: What bout Staines
Ken: Sorry??
Ali: What are you gonna do for Staines
Ken: Since when has been a part of London?
Ali: No I know it's not part of London but since I did offer you a favour I jus thought dat you could change a few laws and sack a few police
men
Ken: I couldn't do that but I am very interested in what you would want me to do?
Ali: Well for a start you could make it legal to smoke weed in front of the pigs and make it illegal for bitches to steal yer car and
take your wallet while you is sleepin because their friends babymudder
told them dat they did see wid you a next punani. Then you could sack
all the police men in Staines and let me and me massive run tings.
Ken: I don't think I would have that sort of power and if I did I don't believe for one second that I would assist you in your efforts to
overthrow Staines
Ali: But don't you think it would be handy to have a ghetto massive behind you so dat if you get in any bother you can jus call
me on the moby, I'll give you the number after the show, and me and me massive can find them and BUKA problem sorted.
Ken: Interesting idea (chuckles)
Ali: Wot you tink I is jokin
Ken: No no no not at all (still chuckling)
Ali: Well sounds like to me dat you is takin the piss, is you taking the piss?
Ken: Oh no no
Ali: No me didn't tink so, anyway I must say thanks and send out a big respect to the man like Ken
Livingston, big up your chess Ken
I is sure you will make it across the line.
Now I is wanting to speak wid peoples out there in e land and I don't mean the little pills that take you to a place
where your happy and having sex for hours. No I'm talking about the ruff neck internet massive,
big up.
This is my second interview on the internet, you all remember the Liz
Hurley episode Wicked nuff respect, Well I is decided to let you have it on a regular so watch out!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember increase the peace at least I feel big up your chess and keep it real. PEACE
Thanks to Steven for getting in touch.